Thirteen years ago, a season of my life began that will forever be remembered. It was the beginning of a season of learning to trust God’s perfect timing. I learned I never had any control of the timing in the first place.
It is our story and struggle with secondary infertility.
My husband, Luke, and I were married in February of 2006. Prior to our wedding, we had both decided we would immediately not “try” to get pregnant. We wouldn’t take any precautions to prevent pregnancy either. Due to some health issues of mine, and a couple of years of birth control use, we knew getting pregnant may not come easy for us. To our surprise and delight, we discovered three weeks later, I had gotten pregnant on our honeymoon!
We were happy and fairly content, so we thought. In the late Spring of 2008, we decided it was time to begin trying to conceive a second child. We ideally wanted our children to be three years apart. Risking getting pregnant immediately again, we knew they would be just over two years apart (our minimum hope in age difference). For anyone who has, or is actively trying to conceive a child, you know how quickly it can consume your thoughts.
No one knew we were trying to conceive a child at this point, except a few close friends. We said we really didn’t care that we weren’t pregnant those first few months. When my sister-in-law announced her second pregnancy, I was relieved the test in my purse was negative, I jokingly told Luke. The truth was that a part of me was jealous, and a part of me was thankful.
It is okay to feel excitement and grief at the same time.
God is not surprised by the struggle. You are not broken. I can’t explain why you are facing this trial. I write this post today to encourage you to not lose faith.
Our story is unique to us. We have a honeymoon baby and a a gift that required two and a half years of trying. For those reading today, in this Spring, I write to bring awareness.
Remember those who may be trying to conceive. May we not be cruel as I once was in high school. Let us not play pranks on friends of fake pregnancy announcements. Let’s fool the enemy of their desires, and lift a prayer for those trying to conceive.
And in another month, let us also remember again, the women who may be grieving. The women wishing to be mothers or to have the gift to mother another child.
Today, I see you….the weary and discouraged.
Father God, I pray that you wrap your comforting arms around them. May they feel your love and compassion. Meet them in their need. I pray for healing and hope to arise. Hope and healing that brings them peace and your name GLORY! In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Believing Big!
